Hello, my friends, and welcome to the official Volume 20. It's been a long road to getting here, which may or may not have included bribery, perjury, and other crimes of that nature. As you may have noticed, The Infamous Gavin Stalin has gone mysteriously missing from the circuits of the Interwebs. Hopefully we will find him by the time the next issue is set to print. (Well. Not really print.)
So the reason I'm still talking is because I wished to tell you all about our schedule for the upcoming year. A new issue will be published every Friday evening, and if not then, then it shall be posted Saturday morning (because sometimes I work on Fridays). If you have any questions about his, please comment somewhere below.
So, without further ado, on to the issue!
-Glinda, Witch of the North
Opinion-
How to Transition Into School Like a Pro
Good morning, afternoon, and evening my friends!
As the summer draws to a close this August, I’d like to focus on the best time of the year: the start of school! While I am absolutely ecstatic about going back and seeing all you lovely readers and finally having a schedule to my disorganized life again, I know many dread the oncoming days filled with quizzes, homework, and presentations, not to mention little to no sleep and stress levels off the charts. So relax! For the time being...and enjoy the precious minutes filled with sunshine and late morning rises. Just follow my tips for a successful school year on the first day and it’ll be like you never left. :P
Step one: Walk in like you own the place. Put on your favorite shirt, a smile, and some confidence and enter the school building with your head held high. If you act like you want to be there, your cloudy persona will be quick to catch up. Before you know it, you can’t wait to come back!
Step two: Pay attention and get your homework done early. At the start of the new school year, teachers are only going to give you easy, “Tell Me About Yourself!” assignments and tons of review material. With this in mind, tackle that homework early so you can have some free time. This will ease your body back into the school feel of things so you aren't squashed under piles of homework as soon as you come back. And paying attention? At the very least, you’ll feel more alert and awake in those early classes.
Step three: While those are the main steps, enthusiasm is always a great way to enter the school year. So try something new! Join a different club, make some new friends, etc. And if you’re ever so sad about the loss of summer, I will always be available as one who is quite enthusiastic about school and can make it seem like Disneyland.
Happy Back to School! Have a great year!
-Crossroads
Thoughts for the Apocalypse Thrillseeker
Sorry, guys. No Satan/Santa this week. I'm saving that up for the Christmas Issue. That is, if we survive that long. Who knows?
Instead, I have opted to extol the symptoms of fangirl-itis.
Fangirlitis is a rather serious disease that affects only human females of the age range 11-26. Symptoms of fangirlitis include but are not limited to excessive squeeing (yes, that is a word now), crying, attacks of "feels", extreme sadness over character death or emotional trauma, a devotion to fanfiction and fanart, and spending a lot of time on sites such as Tumblr, Deviantart, or Fanfiction.net. As of now, there is no cure for fangirlitis, but researchers are spending much time and effort to find a cure for this disease.
Until official medication is invented, I recommend keeping the afflicted person away from materials related to their obsession, or encouraging them to write a fanfiction. While it may sound counterproductive, it is often helpful to get out the "feels" by writing about the characters who are causing them.
Thank you very much. This has been Thoughts for the Apocalypse Thrillseeker.
-Glinda, Witch of the North
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