The Happy Sunshine Gang
Musings of our Madness!
no. 8
Bela Slashed the Knife
Bela Slashed the Knife is based off of a short story of the same name that was a product of the violent tendencies and twisted minds of two of our writers. It was written by an... *shudder* outsider *shudder*, but it was actually pretty good. Now here, of course, is our twisted rendition of it.
Bela Slashed the Knife
In an instant, Bela had slashed the knife, killing you, the reader, and left grinning. Now, while you recover from this previous statement, let us explain to you how this happened.
1. When you were asked “Who could that be at this hour” last night, you didn’t go out to find the answer. This gave Bela the perfect opportunity to sneak inside your house and plan her dastardly deed out.
2. You left your refrigerator door open last night. This was a good enough reason for Bela to continue to stay and plan her deed out, instead of leaving and abandoning the whole idea, as she had previously decided on doing.
3. You did not go downstairs last night for a drink of water from your kitchen. If you had, you would have noticed a crazy psychopath passed out in your favorite chair, and four empty bottles of your favorite wine lying empty next to the trash can.
4. You did not take the wine back to the cellar last night after your guests left. The wine complimented Bela’s meal perfectly, and left her with a perfect reason to stay and spend the whole night. It also made her even more deranged while fighting her hangover later.
5. You did not feel like getting out of bed last night to see what the incessant clanging noise was. If you had, you would have seen Bela rummaging through your valuables and your filing cabinets, trying to steal your identity.
6. You had too many valuables. This hinted to Bella that stealing your identity would be very beneficial.
7. You did not lock your filing cabinets. This let Bela easily analyze all financial and personal records that you kept.
8. You labeled your filing cabinet ‘IMPORTANT PERSONAL AND FINANCIAL RECORDS.’ Your small ‘please do not steal’ in the corner didn’t keep Bela from snooping through them; on the contrary, it only made her want to steal them more.
9. You simply have too much money. Your filing cabinets’ contents confirmed this. They also revealed that because of your numerous investments, she could continue to be rich if she chose to steal your identity and impersonate you, which, believe it or not, she chose to do.
10. You never let the cat in last night. If you had, the incessant noise she made would have made you go downstairs ready to kill her at which point you would surely see Bela’s plot unfolding.
11. You didn’t look around your house in the morning. Instead, you just hurried to get ready, and then left immediately.
12. You didn’t look behind you to see who was following you right behind on the sidewalk as you took your early morning walk. If you did, you would have seen a deranged, out-of-sorts psychopath with a knife.
13. When you heard the words ‘I’m going to kill you now,’ you never looked back to where they came from or even moved.
After reading the above summary of your evening and early morning, we feel confident that you will be able to see where your errors in judgement were, how you could have fixed them, and how you will educate those that you haunt during the afterlife on how to prevent.
Thoughts for the Independent Mind
Day of Silence
Author’s note: This is not the normal writer for Thoughts for the Independent Mind. There was a miscommunication and this is being written last minute. Enjoy!
A few months ago, the three members/writers of the Happy Sunshine Gang and many others joined together for a large, nation-wide movement simply called ‘Day of Silence’. Day of Silence is a day that functions as a silent protest: the participants can get anyone they want to join them involved prior to the date, and you simply don’t talk. It protests the bullying and harassment towards gays, lesbians, transgenders, and in many ways, everyone has to face. As research on the very filers shows, many said people choose to keep quiet about most things, and after experiencing this myself, I found it to be very hard. At the beginning, I had to talk, and I know several others who had a peep here and there.
Despite the dull, boring feel people may get when hearing the name ‘Day of Silence,’ DoS was very fun. A group of us had pencils and pens, along with notebook paper, and we took turns writing. The day was a school-wide event, where students could choose activities to participate in. Myself and one other DoS participant went to an ice rink. It was actually very fun to participate in DoS while at the rink, and was probably more fun while not talking there then we probably would have had if we had been talking, based on how many people we actually knew who went.
If Happy Sunshine Gang runs again next year (which we are currently planning), we will try and have more about Day of Silence in this fine publication before the actual day, so that others can join, and we will try to spread the word about the day.
-This has been me, inflicting you with my thoughts. Thoughts for the Independent Mind.
Knowledge corner
“Don’t ever eat the pudding. You’ll never be able to leave.”
-The Book of Truth
Advice
Amass incriminating evidence or embarrassing stories from people so that you can manipulate them and make them do whatever it is that you want them to do.
Random fact
The unit for U.S. and U.K. shoe size is called the barleycorn.
Quote
No usas los manos para comer. Usas los tacos.
-Not at liberty to say.
Creativity Corner
Due to the results from our pilot for Creativity Corner from last week, we have chosen to have the Creativity Corner only be in when we have enough writing to put in it. This puts less stress on us, and will until we have more people willing to write/draw (hopefully meaning more will, making this be in here weekly).
Reminder: Enter anything you wish! Please deliver your writings to our creative works editor/director, Hannah Nies. It may be typed, written, or sent via email to niesbixby@gmail.com. If it is a drawing and you have a scanner, please scan it in and send it to her via email. If you do not have access to a scanner, please make your colors dark.
Serial
It has been determined that the last Happy Sunshine Gang this year will be the only one without the serial. It will be made up for by the chaotic anarchy that takes its place however.
Please Don’t Knock on the Walls
Part IX
The magician felt as if his heart had frozen. “Why not?” he managed to say, very coolly.
“It’s not worth it. It’s not! If you do it, he’ll get revenge on you. We’re all his creatures, you know. And once you belong to him, there’s no getting out of his power.” The man had fallen to his knees in his frenzied state. The magician couldn’t feel anything. He was rooted where he stood.
“Who? Who’ll get revenge on me?” Abramovich demanded. The manager was almost in tears. The magician couldn’t find any pity in his heart.
“The Devil! You’re the last real person left, you know. The rest of us are here only to keep you happy. You’re his puppet. His little dancer. That’s what he calls you. He can make you do anything you want and then when he’s done with you, he’ll throw you away. That’s what he’s doing.” The man’s contorted features went completely blank.
“No. No!” The man whispered, terrified. His frightened gaze locked on Abramovich's. “He’s very angry with me. He doesn’t think I should have told you that. He’s going to-no, please. Help me. Please! PLEASE!” The man’s anguished cries rose to a piercing shriek that shattered the chandelier above the magician’s desk. Abramovich covered his head, still clutching the knife. When he looked up again, the stage manager was dead. Then he watched as Jonathan Flannery, stage manager, dissolved into a pile of dust that was quickly carried away by a gust of wind. The Great Abramovich looked at the knife in his hand. He looked at the center of his chest. With shaking hands, he plunged the knife into his chosen target, and felt himself slip into the abyss of madness.
~~~
The Devil rose gracefully from his filthy perch in the alley. “Pity,” he said.
Opinion(s)
Reader(s)! You may submit your opinions/suggestions/questions/concerns about/for the Happy Sunshine Gang. Just write a memo to our creative works editor, Hannah Nies. Do it for the fame; you may get published!
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