The Happy Sunshine Gang
No. 9.
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The Happy Sunshine Gang
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September 6th, 2013
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Hello, and Welcome Back to Prison!
Letter From the Editor
As owner and editor in chief of the Happy Sunshine Gang, or HSG, I would like to personally give you an awkward shove/welcome back to prison. Parole time is done for a period of about 180 days, and we all suffer because of it. However, this does allow HSG to continue once again. HSG will be more active this year about getting subscribers and actually honoring subscriptions. More on this will be later. You may notice some changes to the HSG. One you probably noticed right away is that the masthead or whatever you would like to call it (Please don’t kill me, oh social studies teacher from two years ago... I aced the test on newspapers mostly on luck) has changed. We also will be more consistent with our column from last year, Thoughts for the Independent Mind, and will try to keep the same writer throughout the whole year (I had to cover a few times on the n.s.-good* writings for it... yeah...). We may or may not have a new column this year about the torture of the communist arts and other prison activities, depending on whether the writer would have time for it or not. We will start with a new serial this year, and hopefully have several throughout the course of the year. At the end of the year last year, things got hectic and the HSG was not put out, leaving the serial unfinished. There is an end, and you may request it in its entirety, as well as other HSG issues, with our cool flashy form that I will hopefully remember to include with this HSG issue. We had several musings of madness that didn’t make it to the HSG last year due to timing issues, and those and others that we write now or being archived so we can use them if we are all too busy to actually write new things. We are also going to slightly restructure the HSG. This means that we will have a new staff member who may or may not actually do work. We are also restructuring the publication itself, and you may notice new things, things that have been removed, or things that just look differently. It may take a short while to get things the way that we would like to keep them, but we didn’t even know what we would put in the HSG last year after the first issue was released, so things shouldn’t go up in flames.
Basically, to sum up this long, illustrious and poorly structured paragraph, some things are changing and some will be the same, but the changes will hopefully be for the better. Please bear with us as we go through them. Gosh, if only the whole paragraph would work like those last two sentences. Oh, well.
-The Infamous Gavin Stalin
*n.s.-good means sorta-bad.
New Writer
The Happy Sunshine Gang has obtained (stolen, kidnapped, bought, robbed... Whatever you want to call it) a new member. This member was not able to give us anything to introduce himself in this issue of the HSG, but he will hopefully have a short introduction in the next Happy Sunshine Gang.
-The Infamous Gavin Stalin
Subscriptions
Subscriptions this year will work slightly differently this year from how it worked last year. Last year, it was completely informal ‘I want it,’ and you got it. That is, you got it if we remembered in our heads to print enough copies for you to have one and then actually remembered to give it to you. And sometimes, we just randomly said that you were going to be subscribed to it and we would give you it or would forget to. That will change this year with a sign up form. This form will be attached to the first few copies of the HSG. In the future, we may use some sort of online form, but we haven’t discussed this. The form that you use to request issues can be used to subscribe to the HSG. We will record your name, and we will try our best to honor your subscription to the HSG.
-The Infamous Gavin Stalin
‘The Form’
At last minute I am changing the subscription/ordering materials process to simply contacting our creative works director, Glinda, Witch of the North, at niesbixby@gmail.com, or contacting her asistanty-person, ScienceWalls at luckylydi@gmail.com.
-The Infamous Gavin Stalin
Serial
This year, the HSG plans on continuing with a regular serial (regular in the meaning that there will consistently be one, not that they will be regular) each week/issue. Last year, it was found that the HSG’s serial was one of the most major draws to the HSG.
Serial... Cereal?
Good morning, everyone! Welcome to the story. In case you were looking for the Germaphobes Rehabilitation Meeting, don’t worry. It’s right around the corner. You may leave now, and we promise not to laugh at you until after you’ve left. l believe that it’s just starting now, so you won’t be late.
Now, let us begin. Fair warning to all of you, if you are under the age of thirteen, susceptible to sudden, violent attacks relating to mangoes, or are disturbed by the color purple, it is extremely unsafe for you to be reading this story. Really. Take my word for it. Dreadful things have happened, and will happened again. Also, if you have small children with you, now would be the time to leave before anything unfortunate happens. Well??? Go on, go! Get out of here! Thank you. Now, let’s begin, shall we?
Word Search
‘HSG’ by Gavin Stalin
Slackers, Awful, Ointment, HSG, Glinda, Sciencewalls, Gavin, Writing, Hermworm, Shule, Scary, Creepy, Chewy, Delicious, Scaredforlife*
*Supposed to be scarredforlife, but it didn’t work out with the puzzle.
Creativity Corner
No, the Creativity Corner has not died. While there are no writings to share in it this week, we have found at least one person who would be willing to write here and there for the Creativity Corner.
Stereotyping States
Who knows? Our writers thought that this section would be fun. So, without any further explanation...
Louisiana
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Pelican State! Here, counties are too good for all of us shrimp-catchers, so we call them parishes! If you’re a jazz fanatic, then New Orleans is the only place in the world you can go to actually hear someone play your favorite musical genre.
33 Haikus about Poetry
I wrote 33 Haikus about poetry last year for poetry warmup exercises. Enjoy!
Poetry I
Poetry is words
Lack of grammar evident
Too much time on hand
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Thoughts for the Independent Mind
My Suitcase
A treasure that is very important to me is my suitcase. This Treasure has extremely low significance in price but it is worth a lifetime in memories. My suitcase is an original, cyan-blue, hard case samsonite from the 60s or 70s covered in bumper stickers that I have collected over time whenever I possibly could. It is an incredibly special treasure to me because it reminds me of when and where I got the case itself and also each and every single bumper sticker on it. There is no doubt in the world that this suit case does not have history.
I got the case itself when I was hanging out with some friends and we happened across a yard sale where they were selling this case for four dollars, so i decided to purchase it because I thought it was cool. A few of my friends made fun of me because I was carrying around a big, old, blue suitcase for the rest of that afternoon. I even ended up taking it to the local park next to Prairie Elementary! It also wasn't the most ordinary thing to see for bystanders; a bunch of kids hanging out on a summer afternoon with a suitcase.
Another reason it’s so important to me is because of when I got my first bumper sticker. I still remember clear as day, I was with my parents and grandfather at the farmers market on campus and a guy was selling different bumper stickers. I saw a nice looking one with a picture of wisconsin drawn like a fist that read “Stand with Wisconsin” in big white letters that stood out like stars against the bright red background. I decided to buy it and put it across the upper left hand corner of my suitcase. This is also unquestionably significant because my grandfather lives in Florida so I don't get the opportunity to hang out with him too often.
The final reason it is so incredibly important to me is because it reminds me of not only where I’m from (my wisconsin bumper sticker, etc.) but also where I've been and where I’m going. It reminds me of where I’ve been because of where I've taken it and because of all of the bumper
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stickers I have from trips I have taken with my family. Not only does it remind me of where I’ve been physically but it also reminds me of where I have been mentally. With all the bumper stickers with the purpose of expressing individuality it’s impossible not to look at all the stickers and think of who I really am, some of my interests, and some beliefs or opinions I have. I think that remembering where you’ve been, shows where you’re going in a way. Not saying that people with bad childhoods can’t grow up to be great things, in fact, remembering and accepting a difficult time in your life makes you stronger.
These are all some of the reasons that my suitcase is a personal, sentimental treasure. In my eyes, it is a symbol of me, my friends, my family and my life.
This has been me, bringing you, thoughts of the independent mind.
-Science Walls
Thoughts for the Apocalypse Thrillseeker
Fish 1500’s Takeover
In the mid 1500’s, the fish ruled the Earth. Most people don’t know this, as it is a highly guarded state secret. However, we at HSG have decided to share the facts with you, our delightful readers.
The takeover started in the late 1400’s when some idiot named Shakespeare decided to try his hand at writing some shotty plays. Once he turned out a few, the leader of the fish realized that with humanity in such decline, it would be a perfect time to stage a coup, which he did. This is why Mr. Shakespeare’s plays ushered in an age of prosperity.
The fish did not return to their place in the sea until 1912 when the Titanic sunk. They took it as an omen that their time was up. The fish will rise again!
-Glinda, Witch of the North
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